The 2:30 Barf Express to Chiang Mai

We returned the scooters, packed the bags, and readied ourselves for our ride back to Chiang Mai, and then just happened to cross paths with friends from the Cave Lodge...

Cara was like an extra member of the family while up in Soppong, and the kids just adored her. She's a young person who somehow belongs back in the past - disposable film cameras and snail mail only. Plus she puts on a mean puppet show. Good luck with your volunteer work in Nepal!

And our Scottish-Israeli friend - who shall remain nameless because, well, we don't actually know his name. We spent three days in his company and everyone in our family assumed someone else had introduced themselves. Love it. So we'll call him Bob. Bob - if you read our blog, tell us your name and e-mail address. Thanks for your patience with our son - he thought you were awesome (and you are).

And now the excitement begins. We can't say we weren't warned about the drive between Chiang Mai and Pai. But a few days before, on our way up, Buddha must have been on our side, as he blessed us with a driver who exuded inner peace (and road sense). We clearly did something wrong during our stay up north, as we found ourselves with this maniac on the way down. We don't know his name either, but I shall call him Satan.

The road from Chiang Mai to Pai has 762 turns, many of which are full hairpins. Satan drove the whole way with his head hanging out the window so he could try to see past the vehicles in front in order to plan his passes. And pass he did - constantly. Three hours of brake-slamming, tailgating, swerving and speed. This didn't go down well with Shirley.

Actually, nothing went down well - it all came back up. What a waste of good street vendor food. Good thing she saved that EVA Airways barf bag from the flight over (and I thought I was the planner !!)

Back safely in Chiang Mai (not kidding - I really thing we had a couple of close calls), and it was time to vary the menu. The kids have had two weeks of just noodles, rice and the same bits of pork and chicken and veg. They definitely were missing this - a Fat Elvis beef bacon burger with fries and lemonade. That plus some live music will put a smile on anyone's face.

I think we have now used every means of transportation available in Chiang Mai.

What? Burgers and a trip to the zoo? Oh, how quickly the wheels are falling of this bus!! So much for taking our kids on a voyage of discovery to unspoiled wilderness and a cultural and culinary awareness (and it's only week 2)

The Chiang Mai zoo isn't a very nice zoo, but we had honestly run out places to take the kids and we felt it was better they roam the expansive grounds of this park than the bustling streets of the city. Feeding the animals was also a nice touch (although that Giraffe tongue is discomforting to watch).

"C'mon mister. Anything, just chuck it right in"

"Hmmm....how about a 65 pound 8 year old who won't finish his vegetables?"

The zoo also had a zipline attraction - Owen had never tried it before, so he was very excited. Until I told him you had to fly directly over the lion enclosure. Again, bad daddy humour.

When ostriches go to the zoo
"Hey Herb, look a this one. Watch, I bet I can make him flap his arms and squawk" 

 This was my Gary Larson moment.

The rest of the day was an epic catch-up session of math. We had packed super-light on our excursion up north and left the kids' workbooks back in Chiang Mai for 6 days. Nothing like 4 hours of division to make a kid actually say "when can we go see some more temples?"

Oh the humanity! The Sunday Evening market in Chiang Mai is one of the more visited night markets in the city. A bit tough for the four of us to navigate without getting separated, but well worth it.

This was just odd. I know Thai massages are popular, but this looks anything but peaceful and relaxing. A whole street lined with sweaty white people offering their sweaty white feet to be kneaded and rubbed, while hundreds of onlookers walk right by.

Because who doesn't need more boons?

Those sweaty white feet were making me hungry...and what good is a night market without food? So we spent our last night in Chiang Mai sampling some amazing treats. This was a northern spicy mixture of mashed-up sausage croquettes (no other way to describe it) with crunchy vegetables and a mouth-burning sour chili sauce.

But the kids stuck to something milder - crepes

Okay mister, you had me at 'exploding'

And some non-local dishes (roti) thrown into the mix. Now I'm starting to get full.

But how can you say no to this stuff? Here is a spicy vegetarian noodle dish from the Burma/Thailand border region. Now it's not just the fish that's ready to explode - my stomach is full.

This is such a classic kids thing (at least with my kids). After I was satisfied they had eaten enough healthy food, I finally relented and let them have their ice cream. They promptly disappeared, and when I found them a few minutes later they were here, at a completely different ice cream vendor, eyeing the goods and clearly wanting more. I guess it's not so hard to understand. It's a bit like a glass of red wine - one is just not enough. 

So goodbye Chiang Mai - you have been very good to us. We leave full of good food and fond memories. Tomorrow we get ready to battle (not literally) the crowded and polluted craziness that is Bangkok, before heading down to the islands and beaches of the south,